Tips to Avoid Rape ooops Avoid Being Raped:What can you do to follow Sube Singh, Mamata Banerjee and the likes

This is a Continuation of my Last Post- The Five Tricks to Survival: Or How Not to Get Raped

http://distortedrainbow.blogspot.in/2012/07/the-five-tricks-to-survival-or-how-not.html

1. Don't step out of home after 8. In fact since rapes have happened at all times of day - don't step out at all!But statistics also prove that a large number of rapes happen by family members/ people know to the victim- So please don't stay at home as well. But then what could you do? You could try to get a boat for lease for a lifetime and relocate to Fingal's Cave on the uninhabited island of Staffa. If you carry enough oil , you can fish from the boat and survive on pan fried fish for the remaining years of your life. 

( Expert Advise: You might get lonely and will have biological needs to fulfill, but please don't rape the fish and avoid getting raped by it)

2. Don't Speak or interact with any two legged or four legged creature that has remotely anything to do with a balls or a penis or testosterone.  If a man tries to ask for your help, look up at him when he is least expecting it, hit him with whatever around you is capable of inflicting a fatal wound and flee from the scene. If people bother you a lot over your new found silence, keep a straight face and stare at them hard till they get spooked and leave.

( Join Mamata Banrejee's FB page and ask her that despite being surrounded by men in her minster's profile and constant collaboration with them- how did she manage not getting raped. Or maybe there is something about her that the people just don't know yet)

3. I don't know whether I should advice you against the consumption of chowmein/burgers/anything under the sun. Take point 3 as per taste and at your own risk.

4. And this is the ultimate advice to all mothers. You want your little princess to subject to that torture - just get a sex determination done when pregnant. I don't need to tell you what to do next. Just abolish the girl child. Because when girls like 3 and 5 years old have been raped and so have married women, there is no guarantee that getting her married at 16 will save her from rape . When brothers, fathers and uncles have raped the girl- there is no guarantee that not letting her talk to boys will save her either. And how do you know that your little girl someday will not put up a tantrum for a plate of maggi. What are you gonna do then? Let her have that maggi and invite rape . So before any other oxymoron can come and tell you what to do- just empower yourself and do it.

5. Just legalize rapes: Since most of them are consensual anyways, it doesn't make sense why an entire nation of talented, forward-thinking intellectuals should waste their time coming up for explanations or excuses for rapes. Just legalize the goddamn thing. What difference would it make anyway? Rapes happen now. It will happen then. At least the victim will be saved from being ridiculed by everyone in the name of chowmein. After having gone through all that pain and torture, it will seem like luxury to her. 

( my sincere request to the authorities- While you are at legalizing rapes, could you please also include drugs and marijuana in your list as well.)

As an when more explanations and advise flows from our beloved khap panchayats, politicians and intellectuals of the society, I will keep the list updated.